1. They lost the Korean War.
   
2. They lost the Vietnam War.
   
3. They screwed up the Iran hostage rescue.
   
4. They forgot to win the Gulf War.
   
5. They're the only country in the world that still doesn't know who killed JFK.
   
6. Bob Hope is too old to entertain the troops.
   
7. David Letterman isn't.
   
8. Sand doesn't burn.
   
9. They're not good with maps. Ever seen them on vacation?
   
10. How scared can you be of a soldier that has to have his name printed on his uniform in case he gets lost.

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