Stage One:
Your first child will change your life a little bit. You can still have sex in the lounge room, take a cheap holiday and find a baby sitter.
Two kids and everything you've ever been or done is over forever. Do not deceive yourself, it is physically impossible to have more than two children... you will never find the privacy to copulate. If you do have more than two you are the kind of degenerate who would mix stickies while your cat sits on the bed.
Stage Two:
After they go to school, two things happen.They will bring home ( just for your sneezing pleasure) every disease ever to waft up a nostril and they will learn how to lie from their schoolmates who at first seem cute but will stab your goldfish with compasses when you're not looking.
Stage Three:
Living with teenagers will take you back to when you rented a room in shared accomodation. Suddenly there's dirty socks on the lounge, Vegemite in the butter, brown things on the tea towel and stains on the toilet bowl that appear to have been made by a decomposing animal..
Remember...Children! The thinking mans contraceptive.
